I couldn’t stop crying this morning. 🙁 Thinking about how everything used to be, living back home with Mom – the memories in that house. THE MEMORIES WITH MY FRIENDS, OMG! 🙁 I truly and really have been so isolated these past few years that I am so anxious around people these days. I used to be this really, really, silly, goofy full of spunk person but since I haven’t had any friend interaction in such a long time my sense of humor is different than It used to be. I’ve always been pretty mature for my age and now I think It’s even moreso. I miss how me and my best friend Allen would just be each other’s company for the whole entire summer day. Now I don’t even get to see him anymore. :blink: Brad is my best friend but the thing is all he wants to do when he gets home is get a shower and play his computer game. :blank: I’ve tried talking him into doing things, he says right now It’s too hot to go outside and do stuff, which, I agree. I got him to go to the store with me the other day to just look around. It’s different though.. he’s my husband, yenno? I really need a close girl friend.

I was also thinking about Mom. How she raised me as her own. Took me in and did so much for me. I think about how once Brad and I have a baby.. she probably won’t be here to be in the delivery room with us. I would want her there, too because she means the WORLD to me. I want her close so she can see our baby. And thinking about her not just made me cry even more this morning. I know my Mom and I didn’t get along for quite a long time but once we got on good terms (which, we still are) It’s been awesome and I just miss her now that she lives 4-5 hours away. Can’t just go over on the weekend anytime we want. 🙁 Mom really, really is my angel. Her and my Grandpa (RIP Gpa) both, I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for their big hearts.