I just want to be happy and to be excited again about life but when you stay at home 99% of the time, don’t talk to anyone and only have a toddler to associate with… that makes it so hard. Doesn’t help with this whole situation with Brad and I. Oh well, I will pull through this and I WILL BE HAPPY someway, SOMEHOW. I don’t want each day to be a struggle, a pull and tug with Brad and I BUT I want him to take responsibility and not FLIP OUT and accuse me of “expecting too much” from him and yes, maybe I do SOMETIMES but SOMETIMES I think I AM doing the right thing because he wouldn’t take initiative to do these things because he’d rather not take responsibility in the first place!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m not sure If we can be in harmony with one another. He didn’t call me at all yesterday on his breaks while he was at work. He didn’t speak to me after he came home. We said a few words to one another last night then I just sat there in bed until I finally turned off the light, went and laid on the couch in the living room and cried. I went to sleep but woke up freezing at 5AM so I crawled into bed.

It was COLD this morning!!! I had to go put on socks, my fuzzy PJ pants and a sweater! Wowie! Yea, this house really HOLDS the cold well so no problem there! I cleaned house then took Katie out for a stroll on this gorgeous day. This has definetly been the coolest and prettiest day we’ve had in a loooong time!!! LOVED IT.


Not a cloud in the sky and so blue!!! I was STARVING by the time I got back… so much that my stomach felt sooooo empty so I started fixing my lunch and fed Katie then put her down for nap and she actually didn’t cry! I ate lunch but was still hungry so I ate more and then more. I was so hungry! I ate more than I intended too much I didn’t overstuff myself and so I’m trying to see how long I can hold out after that big meal before I eat again. I cleaned our turtle’s tank then eventually got a shower and fixed my hair. It’s soo soft, woohooo. If I could, I would leave today for Georgia. I’m hoping maybe I can convince Brad to take me Monday. The sooner I can get to Georgia, the sooner we can move forward with our lives to a BETTER ONE instead of this MESS we’re in right now.

Keeping my faith strong!!!!!!!! I won’t let anything bring me down, NOTHING! Even though we’re going through these things right now I’M GOING to be steadfast in hope and faith. I want us to be close as a couple again but I also want us to be on the same page with responsibility and all that and If I step on his toes by doing that well so be it. That’s where the problems always stir up when I try to get him to own up to being an adult. We shall see….