I AM DETERMINED TO….
get back into exercise.
stick to a balanced intake of food.
AND BEAT THIS PCOS !!!!!!

I’ve done it before when I lost 76 pounds in 2009 BUT what created this MESS was that I didn’t have enough fats to begin with and then after I lost the weight and upped the exercise, I didn’t have enough calories to keep the balance and so everything went WHACK. I’ve been fighting to set this straight since around May 2010. I’ll keep fighting. It’s been hard because the hormonal imbalance makes everything so hard with trying not to overeat… dealing with cravings, that sort of thing. I look at JILLIAN MICHAELS who has PCOS, too and look at her. I think back to early 2010 when I was SLIM….. I have said it plenty of times since everything went out of whack AND I WILL KEEP SAYING IT— I WILL GET BACK TO WHERE I WAS!!!!!!!!!

Heh. Today was better!!! I did NOT want to get up this morning but I got up, drank warm lemon water and had veggie & tofu stirfry for breakfast plus fruits before and after. I decided to go back to sleep for about an hour. Finally got Katie up and she ate breakfast, used the potty, and I did a 10 MINUTE workout on the Wii Active! Ugh… I have deffo lost strength.. guess I’ll have to BEAT myself up again! Afterwards, I DID take Katie out for a walk. It felt SO wonderful outside and I’m so glad we went. Came home to set her up with cartoons while I got on the TREADMILL for brisk walking while watching Secret Life reruns… my fav! I walked for 42 minutes or so. I fixed more VEGGIES for lunch with a little bit of lentils and also had an apple afterwards. I fed Katie then she went down for nap timeeee! Washed off with a hot bath then went to take another nap. This evening? I ate… can ya guess? MORE VEGGIES! Veggies and tofu again, yum. I got ready then walked to Moms to visit with her for 2 hours since I haven’t walked over to her house in 2 weeks since I was sick. I love spending one-on-one time with her chatting about various things. Walked home in the dark and had my PROTEIN dessert – cottage cheese, soy protein, flaxseed, and cinnamon. It was so good.

I have GOT to stick to my calorie limit and watch my carbs. I’m going back to track my calories on my FAVORITE site- SPARKPEOPLE!!!!!! I tracked my food intake EVERY SINGLE DAY when I was losing weight in 2009. I did great with my weight loss then so I can do it again except this time I WILL have PLENTY OF HEALTHY FATS and when I get slim again and get back into MY FAVORITE… RUNNING then I will BE SURE to EAT ENOUGH calories so I can be an awesome runner.

If I HONESTLY had ONE WISH right now? I would want to go back to January 2010 and have a LIGHTBULB come on… OH, I need more fats and calories. BOOM. I could of avoided all this but live and learn. My struggles will only make me stronger. I’ve been struggling for so long now… can I please have my sunshine back?!!!! If I want that back, I’ve got to be strict with myself. I can do this. I will do this.

I will beat PCOS and have my peace of mind, body, and soul like I had worked SO HARD to obtain in 2009-early 2010, but then I ruined it. Lesson learned….. I’m gonna get back to slim and BE SURE TO STAY THERE. I’m so excited to feel that way again, to have that slim tummy. I can remember that I didn’t even HAVE to suck my tummy in AT ALL. I had never experienced that before and I want it back.

I have been trying so many things but I know what I need to do… now to put it to full force. Luckily, we go shopping tomorrow evening so I can load up on the things that I need and make the rest of the year a time to help create balance again. Hopefully 2012 will be the year I get that balance back and keep it.

I’m so thankful for my life. I have suffered so much sickness and misery… my spiritual side has been crushed and I HATE THAT… HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT. I’ve gotta work on that, too. I haven’t wanted to study scripture because I’ve been so tired and MEH but I need it. I need it.

Look out world because I am going back to the high spirited, positive, energetic person I know I am inside! Thankful, grateful, and blessed for EVERYTHING Heavenly Father has given me. I LOVE talking about health, being positive, so that’s what I need to focus on… plus will be better to post about on my blog rather than just my boring days, lol. I want to inspire people on my blog. Anyhow…. gotta catch up on Facebook and bloggies!!!!!!

QUESTIONS>>>
What are you guys doing this weekend??????
What struggles have you been facing????
What are you gonna do about them????

I think I’ll start posting questions on each blog so people can participate…. so please answer! I need to get my blog more hits, lol. Thanks to the people that read this…… means a LOT to me, you have NO IDEA. Especially Caity and Jenn =) I love you girls, I hope you know that.