Confession. I’ve been eating WAY TOO MUCH this past almost week… I am not happy about it one bit but IT STOPS NOW. I know that my body is out of whack but overeating is not going to help it any. I’ve been trying to ask myself WHY I even eat that much in the first place?! Part of it’s my body trying to fulfill carb/sugar cravings with all the hormonal craziness and part of it is stress eating. IT STOPS NOW.

I’ve been drinking a lot of water today since I haven’t been drinking as much water as I should as of lately. I have got to find the right balance in all this and get back to where I once was… I used to could eat meals, be content and go on about my day and so on and so forth!! I am so ashamed because I came so far in my journey to become healthy and since the end of April it’s been nothing BUT A MESS. Carbs seem to be my trigger right now… but also mixed nuts too. Mixed nuts, peanut butter, cereal, oats, bread. I did NOT buy peanut butter when we went shopping last night. I knew I’d eat it all within a few days. I was in search of some snack food items and decided to pick up veggie chips. BAD IDEA. I snacked a lot on it last night. Snacked on it this morning…. the bag is now empty in the trash.

I just sit back and think – look what I did to myself! After all my accomplishments with losing the weight and then boom… I kept the low carb, low fat, high protein lifestyle and then mix in TOO much exercise and NOT enough food = DISASTER. I’ve got a time/calorie plan that I’m going to work on setting up tonight and starting tomorrow morning. Breakfast, snack, lunch, 2 snacks, dinner and a light dessert. I talked about how I might have adrenal fatigue… I’m almost certain that I DO. I’ve been doing as much research on that as possible. I need to keep the carbs down and get more lean meats and protein but I have to be consistent and resists those cravings to just keep going back for MORE and that’s going to be extremely hard because I think about resisting but then just give in. I don’t want to give in anymore. I want my body back to feeling as healthy as It did before. I want to be able to RUN and have energy.

Oh how I miss you energy.

What did I do today? I did some stuff around the house and actually didn’t get out for a walk until 1PM. I fixed a CHICKEN veggie salad for lunch then headed outside. I went for about an hour long walk like I did yesterday then I came inside for a minute to use the bathroom and get some more water then back out I went! I explored the woods in our backyard then went and sat in an area with lots of pinestraw. I love it. I could spend all my time exploring woods and being outside. I love the SMELL of pinestraw! I tried to relax my mind and eventually came back in. I’ve got more protein snacks this week! I chopped up some chicken for me to use in my salads now and I also bought some ground turkey and made mini-turkey patties that I could use for snacks! Brad left this afternoon a little after 4PM to go to our church Temple with 2 other guys – we usually all go (meaning me and one of the others guys wife) but we didn’t have a babysitter for Katie and our friend’s wife had to work late sooooooooo yeah. I took a nice shower this evening and folded laundry then put it away. It was mostly Katie’s new clothes that people have given her! She’s all SET for winter that’s for sure.

I’m going to bathe and then have Katie to bed by 8:30PM then eat dinner and a yogurt for dessert then relax until probably 10:30PM and go to bed! Not sure what time Brad will be home… I’d estimate around 10:30-11PM. I am going to STEP UP and get my body BACK!!! I WILL I WILL I WILL. I’ve been having trouble with eating too fast – which I’ve always been one to eat slower so I really want to work on that too.

One day at a time!